Desi / British English

Desi / British English

Just Joke Keep Smiling.


Due to the way our Hindi was spoken/pronounced by those British then in India (as examplified in Lagaan!!), see the following self-explanatory:

GANPAT RAI Bihari,(who really needs a job) is being interviewed by a British Colonel Smith.

Col. Smith: "Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat Rai)!"
Bihari: "Nahi, sir, jyada nahi!"
Col. Smith: "Kya 'jyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application me likha hua hai Gand fat rahai."
Bihari : "Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga."
Col. Smith: "Tum daily marata hai (tum Delhi me rahta hai)?"
Bihari : "Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!"

Col. Smith: "Gand fat rahai, idhar aaoo, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta hai? Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum daily marata hai."
Bihari : "Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marata honga."
The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col. Smiths' family asks him to do.

Col. Smith: "Gand fatrahai!"
Bihari : "Ji maalik."
Col. Smith: "Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai."
Bihari : "Hukum Sarkaar!"

Col. Smith: "Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)...baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga...aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga."
Bihari : "Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi chod sakta."

Col.Smith: "Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega."
Bihari : "Nahi sarkaar, aisa zulum naa kare."
Col. Smith: "Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga."
Bihari : "Theek hai, sarkaar ....Jo hukum."

After a few days there is no one except Col.Smith's wife at home. She is alone in her bedroom. While wearing her bra she is unable to 'tie the knot behind.' So... Wife: "Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?"

Bihariri : "Ji Maalkin."
Wife: "Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro!" (gaanth maro - tie the bra knot).

Bihari : "Yeh kya keh rahi hai, Maalkin?"
Wife: "Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai."
Bihari : "Nahi Nahi, Maalkin. Agar Maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge."

Wife: "Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi."
Bihari : "Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum."

Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time, starts like a bull.

Panic stricken the wife tries to turn and shouts: "GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI!"
Bihari: "Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega NE!"